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Chapter 1: To Wake, Perchance to Smell the Coffee

page 18: Wait another rotation   ~ 4/12/2012

Chapter 11: Electric Shadows

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  1. kakikara_loxocosm
    said, on 2012-04-13
    You somehow transmuted the title from "Nerva's Rex" to "Her Severe." :D Looking forward to the next mutation.

    I love the partitioning/obscuring of the frames in Frames 1 & 2. Also how Scon-o is considerate enough to ask if Dana is okay. :) I find Scon-o and Dana both likable. I liked Dana from the time she called Nerva "Joan's friend" back on Page 7. Come to think of it, that was also a frame where she was asking Nerva if she was okay, too.

    I read the sequence between Frames 6, 7, & 8 and can't tell if I'm not getting something implied or not. Did the yarn not spool? Or is Dana just boggling at the dizziness of how far they've come down? It wasn't enough to keep me from going on, but it was enough to make me go back and reread it several times.

    Nice cefe^3!!! I like how it looks lathe-turned in all its renditions so that "roteytion" makes total sense.

    That's really cool to know that this is done in ballpoint; somehow it changes my reading of it. I'd thought it was pencil up till now. Yes, you get quite a lot of gradation from your ballpoint!

    Thanks so much for all your replies. It's really interesting to read your impressions of your own work!
  2. said, on 2012-04-15
    I like the frame fragmentation/partitioning as well. Back on Transbunny somewhere, there's a place where two frames are shattered and overlay on eachother...though describing it that way makes it sound cooler than it probably is.

    I'm glad that you find the characters likable -- I think the characters are presented implicitly rather than explicitly, but if they're still likable, then they're doing their job (they make a better window than a friend).

    Yeah, the 6-8 isn't so great; in retrospect, it would have been nice to swap the order of 6 and 7. But yes, your read was correct: the "oh my" was about how the tether now extends a great distance up.

    The rotating was...well, I hope next week will further illustrate the intent (I don't remember if it does, we'll find out at the same time).
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